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To borrow or not to borrow, that is the
question
by
Gina Rullo
I often think about asking a
friend to borrow an item she owns. But then I
stop for fear.
My fear is two-fold.
The first being that she will then ask to borrow
something of mine. The second is that I will
then owe this person something.
Let’s go back to the first concern.
It’s not like I don’t like lending my stuff to
others; it is just that I don’t trust people to
return my item in the same condition that I gave
it out or not return it at all.
While I freely admit I am not perfect, I do try
to give things I borrow back in the same
condition they were given to me whether it is
jewelry, a book or a kitchen gadget.
When a friend gives me a book, I like to see if
the spine has been creased, if there are any
marks on the dust jacket and if there are bent
pages. After my assessment, I then read the book
in a cautious manner trying not to cause any
damage.
If I do crease a mint spine, I generally
apologize and offer to buy a new copy of the
book for the owner.
Currently, I have books from three friends all
waiting to be returned.
There are a few books from my personal library
out on loan at the moment. But books don’t
bother me as much as other items.
But when I don’t get an item back, it frustrates
me. There is a nice scarf out there that has not
been returned in a couple of seasons. I lent it
because the person was a friend and because I
had just received a new scarf from my parents. I
do not recall giving this item away but lending
it.
What gives?
Is it wrong to ask for a background check before
lending an item out to a friend, relative or
acquaintance? Probably not, but it is worth
considering.
Now there have been some very lovely lending
situations. A friend recently borrowed an item
of jewelry for her wedding. I was flattered and
honored. And it was returned to me the day after
she arrived back from her honeymoon.
My second concern is of course selfish. I hate
owing someone something. I like to pay my debts
and walk away.
What if I borrow a mixing spoon and the spoon’s
owner asks to borrow my iPod six months later?
Is that a fair exchange? What if this person is
slightly shady?
And let’s say in a moment of temporary insanity,
I lend this person the iPod. What if they never
return it? How do I go about getting it back?
There is no polite way to get your item back.
You can try the old, “Hey Bitsy, can I borrow my
iPod back?” But asking straight out for it to be
returned would be declasse. And I hate being
rude or acting in a manner that would be
impolite, but how do I get my stuff back?
It’s a conundrum. And one I have not yet solved.
So the next time I have the urge to ask to
borrow your apple corer or your Yonanas banana
ice cream maker, I will zip my lip and remember
that borrowing can be a slippery slope.
Gina Rullo is the editor-in-chief of The
Hammonton Gazette.

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