by Gina Rullo

I often think about asking a friend to borrow an item she owns. But then I stop for fear.
My fear is two-fold.
The first being that she will then ask to borrow something of mine. The second is that I will then owe this person something.
Let’s go back to the first concern.
It’s not like I don’t like lending my stuff to others; it is just that I don’t trust people to return my item in the same condition that I gave it out or not return it at all.
While I freely admit I am not perfect, I do try to give things I borrow back in the same condition they were given to me whether it is jewelry, a book or a kitchen gadget.
When a friend gives me a book, I like to see if the spine has been creased, if there are any marks on the dust jacket and if there are bent pages. After my assessment, I then read the book in a cautious manner trying not to cause any damage.
If I do crease a mint spine, I generally apologize and offer to buy a new copy of the book for the owner.
Currently, I have books from three friends all waiting to be returned.
There are a few books from my personal library out on loan at the moment. But books don’t bother me as much as other items.
But when I don’t get an item back, it frustrates me. There is a nice scarf out there that has not been returned in a couple of seasons. I lent it because the person was a friend and because I had just received a new scarf from my parents. I do not recall giving this item away but lending it.
What gives?
Is it wrong to ask for a background check before lending an item out to a friend, relative or acquaintance? Probably not, but it is worth considering.
Now there have been some very lovely lending situations. A friend recently borrowed an item of jewelry for her wedding. I was flattered and honored. And it was returned to me the day after she arrived back from her honeymoon.
My second concern is of course selfish. I hate owing someone something. I like to pay my debts and walk away.
What if I borrow a mixing spoon and the spoon’s owner asks to borrow my iPod six months later? Is that a fair exchange? What if this person is slightly shady?
And let’s say in a moment of temporary insanity, I lend this person the iPod. What if they never return it? How do I go about getting it back?
There is no polite way to get your item back. You can try the old, “Hey Bitsy, can I borrow my iPod back?” But asking straight out for it to be returned would be declasse. And I hate being rude or acting in a manner that would be impolite, but how do I get my stuff back?
It’s a conundrum. And one I have not yet solved.
So the next time I have the urge to ask to borrow your apple corer or your Yonanas banana ice cream maker, I will zip my lip and remember that borrowing can be a slippery slope.
Gina Rullo is the editor-in-chief of The Hammonton Gazette.